Ashley Madison hack: Is monogamy illogical?

I’ll be the first to admit that I laughed when I initially heard about the Ashley Madison hack. Millions of cheaters being caught in the act? They deserve the laughs, I thought.

However, as time went on, I started thinking more deeply about Ashley Madison and the state of marriage in this country.

I understand some of the 33 million accounts may be fake, but they can’t all be — there has to be millions of real users on the website, looking for opportunities to cheat on their spouses. That’s millions of people who have or will be cheated on. It’s less funny when you think about them.

It’s also less funny when you think about how the popularity of Ashley Madison reflects the unhappiness of millions of marriages. Couple this with the widely cited statistic that half of marriages end in divorce and you get a pretty depressing picture.

Is it naive to desire a long-lasting, happy marriage? Is monogamy unrealistic? Is it natural for people to cheat?

I’m no expert in marriage or committed relationships — I’ve never been in either. However, I do believe in them, in marriage and monogamy. And you can call me naive or a hopeless romantic, but I do hope to one day marry someone and be in that marriage for the rest of my life.

I understand not everyone supports monogamy or believes it is realistic. I don’t judge you — that’s your choice. I also realize sustaining a happy, long marriage can be difficult, but I believe it’s worth it.

“It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard… is what makes it great.”

That quote is from “A League of Their Own” and, with context, is about baseball. However, I’m going to apply it to marriage.

Marriage is difficult and some people will strike out, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t step up to the plate and swing.

A dozen batters could go before me and strike out every time. I’ll still step up to the plate and hope for a home run.

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